Thursday, 5 April 2007

insomnia -
the moon already
a little less round

insomnie -
la lune déjà
un peu moins ronde


jem said...

Oh yes. Such a strong sense of meaning, frustration, passage of time. Great.

Alan Summers said...

I totally agree with jem.

This is a good original haiku, and incorporates negative space very nicely too!

Roswila said...

Wonderful ku, and I can identify on those rare occasions when I can't sleep!

Damien Gabriels said...

Thank you jem, alan and roswila, I really appreciate your comments

And, all of you, don't hesitate to improve my English !!!

Alan Summers said...

Thanks for the openness to critique on your English.

However, in this case, your English is beautifully succinct.

It's worth keeping this one for anthologies etc... as it's so good, in both languages!

aurora antonovic said...

You know, Damien, they are right: this one is perfect. This should definitely be submitted somewhere.